Monday, May 25, 2015

Dogs and tears.

Never really posted these because they were drawn for comfort when I had no tears left to weep. For my last year's loss. And the world's loss, really.

Talking about my girl.

This post was due a good year and a bit back. This post was supposed to be my epitaph for Cookie-Brown. But I could never get myself to write it. What's more to say. She left way before her time and stranded all who lived with her, in this terrible state of disarray and an emotional mess. We took our own individual times to crawl through what we thought would be a never-ending struggle to even think of her and not burst into tears and a box full of memories that would take hours to close. I saw photos of this girl as a puppy and thought she was a little white mouse, with the cutest ears. She then lived for a few years with not much company. And then for the last year of her life, she lived with a bit too much company, i.e., us. We were a circus to her and the first time she came home, I didn't know what to do really. She sat near the door with eyes pleading to run away while Lola-bear sniffed her like a piece of steak. It took her about a month to get attached to me and when I mean attached, she was puppy-attached. Lola-bear used to be like that as a puppy. Follow me around like a tail though Lola-b used to do it with hopes of food. Cookie-b used to follow me with this unwritten self-rule that she had to be my shadow. She and Lola-bear became the best of friends, and at a good time too, because Charlie started behaving like a lone wolf. He wanted nothing to do with the rest and looked at them like they were 'animals' amongst us humans. Mind you, Cookie-brown looked at the other two like they were 'animals' too and when stern instructions to either 'leave the room' or 'no begging' were given, she'd turn to them like she was part of the commanding team. She never understood it meant her too and we finally gave up with that conversion.

Last mother's day photo

I got a call telling me that Cookie-brown was ill that day. I thought it was a big over reaction. I came home and saw the vet's assistant already besides her saying it wasn't looking good. I looked at her and she looked frail but not the worst I could imagine. I sat with her for about 7 hours. I made her listen to my favourite country songs, read her books and even wrote her a letter. Like I would to someone who was just ill. I hate reading that letter now. Though I sounded really convinced that she was getting better, it ended with my optimism fading with every sentence.

All it took was just a minute from her coughing, then coughing blood, and getting minor fits while she lay right beside me and died.
I never had anything die in front of me before. I've had birds and guinea pigs and turtles but their bodies were neatly tucked away while I was told the bad news. Infact I didn't realise how little roadkill I've seen until I did notice once and the whole car tried to convince me it wasn't even an animal. I've been shielded away from death since forever and I always imagined me being pretty much listless on hearing about it judging by my emotionlessness with every sad movie or song.
How wrong I was.
It was as if the whole world had collapsed and every organ in my body fused into a thick slurry of liquid coal, that stayed in my chest. I held her body so tight like she would come back to life if I just held her long enough and tight enough. I was a fucking mess.
(here is why I know why I put off writing this post for so long. It's currently the only thing in the world that get me to tears every single time I talk about it in detail)

The vet said Charlie just IS a sole-mate. Lola-bear was growing up and he was reinforcing his bossiness. She didn't have a mate and needed one. So after many a month, P adopted the naughtiest dog ANYONE's seen till date, Lana-brown who is currently eating Lola-bear's brains daily. Charlie lives with me, happily being the sole furry, while occasionally getting forced to interact with his furry types. I visit Lola-bear and Lana-brown when I can too. My girl's grown so big!

Cookie-brown died in May last year. This was her first death-anniversary and I can honestly say it feels like it's been 5 years. I always think about how when I first got her, I pretty much didn't have a life at all because handling three dogs alone was more than anyone's day can handle while also working as much as I could. But when I look back now, I can't have been happier to have let that beautiful perfect dog snuggle into my life, even though I got to spend only one beautiful year with her that will leave me memories for the rest of my life.

The last photo of Cookie-brown and me together.

(*Cookie-brown died due to a rare genetic condition)

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Live the dream.

There have been hardships, major fuckups and a few times when the carpet was pulled from under my feet. Regardless, no matter how horrid times were and can be, I cannot be happier than I am today. I'm obsessed with trying to find out why and I can rightly say that a major part of it has to do with what I do for most part of my day and that is my job! Doing what I love is pretty much a dream come true and because I feel like a walking, talking emoticon smiley, I will have the words 'Live your dream' as my 2-cent advice to anyone who's willing to listen.
I made this poster and realised that it's best use would be if anyone or everyone who needed a reminder about their living pet-dream could print it on demand. So, here you go, if you please!
CLICK HERE for the freebie downloadable. (The link will open in a separate browser and you can right click, 'save as') And do show me if you do decide to pin it up next to your work desk, wrap up your friend's present with it or even frame it for your loo. Loo posters are most motivating!

It's all about the bas(ic writing skills), no trouble.

When I at last sit at my desk to write, I have no words.
So, a picture must suffice for now.

Monday, May 11, 2015

Mother's Day

Illustrations for Mother's Day was, this time, dedicated to new moms and moms-to-be! Also, ofcourse my mom and all the moms who endured the nonsense that my mother had to go through. I'm not kidding. We almost burnt the house down. Twice. Aunty Maria was a whole other story.

Also, I did all the 'quirky' mother's day cards for Amazon. One screenshot below. Don't know if this link is going to work after the occasion but click here to see the rest!

Mother's day products for sale from yours truly:)

Most loved mummy magnet:

NEWbie Mummy magnet:

The mug you'll asked for last year is in town:

Monday, May 4, 2015

Nepal Relief donation links

Prime Minister's Relief Fund

International Medical Corps through Facebook

Local Nepali relief fund through Indigogo

America Nepal Medical Foundation through Indigogo

Labour-ing day.

I promised myself to be more diligent with writing, though I'm finding it even harder to make time these days. When I think my days look neater ahead, bits roll in in twos. I'm grateful, of course, but that turns to guilt rather quickly when certain things aren't ticked off for the day. Realistically, I started planning my new year trying to schedule only 10 items per day. Ten overall including three biggies. I found that that works in comfort and realism. My scheduled day, today, has three times that number and then I sigh at the end of the day when I have a carry over. Also, another big notice is that I have been scheduling work for my 'learning' time. I try keeping nights for 'learning' (this could be anything from reading about sloth sleep timings to an excel shortcut) and because I just have so many little things on my plate at the moment, I move the bits that can be moved, i.e., the learning or reading. Well, on the bright side, I'm involved in so much lovely work and I think I can see a clearer horizon in June. That may be a month of learning then!
Oddly enough, Anu, my start-up friend and business-talker, was telling me that she feels the same way. She added how she's been feeling like she's worked so hard and has nothing to show. I think I'm lucky in that case, in the sense that my work is more tangible. I have a physical output of seeing a file or a drawing that took up my time. Ok enough cribbing, I have to reschedule my day for tomorrow and add in a few.
ok bye bye, Ta ta!